Members of the Family

Members of the Family
December 30, 2018    Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
by Dcn. Bob Bonomi   

Merry Christmas!  We’re in the middle of the Octave of Christmas, still celebrating the miracle of the birth of Jesus, so it is OK to wish people a “Merry Christmas” – actually it is more appropriate now than during the days leading up to Christmas.  In fact, the Christmas season continues until the Feast of the Epiphany, which is January 6th this year.  So, Merry Christmas.

Today we celebrate the beauty and mystery surrounding the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  The Holy Family is a model of faith for all families.  According to the Second Vatican Council’s Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, or Lumen Gentium, “The family is, so to speak, the domestic church.” 

The Catechism of the Catholic Church goes further to state that “The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called "the domestic church," a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.” (CCC 1666)

All this means that it is in the context of family that we first learn who God is and to prayerfully seek His will for us.

But today’s readings and those during this last week also show us that, despite the fact that Joseph was a saint, and Mary was conceived without sin and Jesus was, well, God – the Holy Family had family problems too.  For example:

•    A man discovers that his betrothed has conceived and it’s not his?
•    Their child is born in a rudimentary shelter along the side of the road and not at home?
•    They are forced to flee and live in a foreign country as refugees? 
•    Their son vanishes from sight for three days and when told by his mother that she and his father have been looking all over for him he tells them, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house”, and he doesn’t mean Joseph’s?
•    How about later when it appears that the young man rejects his family when they come to see him and he says to those around him, “Who is my family?  You are.”

And all this is from a family that is “a model of faith”?

Even the best families can be messy, can’t they?  I would say that the number one prayer request that I receive from people beyond the immediacy of health problems would be something to do with broken family relationships: children who have left the Church, parents who are estranged from their children; family disputes between in-laws and even among siblings.  To me, one of the greatest tragedies in life is when a parent and his or her child cannot reconcile with each other before one or the other passes away.  If the #1 illness in the world is loneliness (and it is), then the #1 contributor to that illness is probably the inability of family members to get along with each other.

And beyond our nuclear family, we are also part of a larger family. 

Pope Francis tells us in “The Joy of Love” that: “… the family is a bigger network than we may imagine. It’s something our love builds, beyond our immediate blood relatives, to create larger societies of mutual support. Too many people seek security in small units, or even by focusing only on themselves: this narrow life must be broadened, and we must build our families to include our relatives, neighbors, and friends.”

The secret of a happy family, then, is to look beyond your own kin in the service of outsiders, says Pope Francis. Quoting Luke chapter 14, he says “You will be blessed!” when you look to “the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind.” He says that we find these people in our own relatives and friends – our “greater family” – and that it is precisely here, in this larger family, that we can find the true meaning of love of others. Loving those who are difficult may be challenging, but it can also be very rewarding.

Whether you are married or single, each of us belongs to some sort of family – we have parents, neighbors, co-workers, and friends – all of which form our extended “family”.  And it is through this extended family that we encounter God – and through which we share our own understanding of God with others.

But if being part of family is so important, and yet living as a family is so difficult even with those we like, then what are we to do?  According to Pope St. John Paul II in his Apostolic Exhortation “The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World”, there are four general tasks that we need to do as members of God’s family:

1.    Form ourselves as members of the Christian community;
2.    Be in service to a culture of life;
3.    Participate in the development of society; and
4.    Share in the life and mission of the Church.

How do we do this?  First and foremost, we can work at accepting our family members as they are, warts and all, while living our lives as Christian examples for them. That can be quite challenging, especially when they do not want to be with us or listen to us – or we, them.  But as we form ourselves as Christians, they may see in us the beauty that is God, and God in turn will strengthen us in our love for them.

Second, we should work on orienting our own lives toward Christ and our spiritual journey toward heaven.  This may include spending more time in prayer, or participating in opportunities to study God’s Word.  The closer we come to God, the better model we can be for the rest of society. 

Third, we should seek opportunities to be involved with our family. Church is not a place where we go once a week to be entertained (and many would say that it isn’t very entertaining anyway), but Church is our family that we serve.  While attending Sunday Mass may keep us in touch with God, sort of, if we are not involved in the life and mission of the Church, we may miss the purpose that God has for us.  God calls us to mission every day of our life.

Finally, are we ready and willing to serve our family?  Our family needs us, and the Church offers us so many opportunities to serve.  It doesn’t have to be something radical; just take that first step.  Volunteer for one of our many liturgical ministries – we are always in need of ushers, of EMs, of proclaimers of God’s Word.  And we have many ministries that serve others, such as the Knights of Columbus, the Men’s Club, Catholic Daughters, the Women’s Guild, or St Vincent de Paul to mention just a few.  Or, attend one of the many faith formation opportunities such as the monthly Sunday movies or one of our many bible studies.  And, if you want to get to know your family better, attend one of the upcoming ACTS retreats.  Now is the time to register for either the Men’s retreat or the Women’s retreat which are both coming up next month – they are an ideal way to get to know your fellow parishioners at St. Paul’s.  See one of the team members as you leave today.

We will celebrate the beginning of a new calendar year next week.  People often make New Year’s resolutions in order to better their lives during the coming year.  It is an ideal time to make a resolution for change.  It is an ideal time to show your love for your family.

Remember, no matter how messy our families may be, we are all members of God’s family. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  Let us remember to always Love God and Love our Neighbor as ourselves.  And may God bless you in the upcoming New Year.  Merry Christmas.