Sunday, September 13, 2020

Forgiveness Sets You Free

Forgiveness Sets You Free
Sep. 13, 2020     24th Sunday in Ordinary Time – A
by Dcn. Bob Bonomi

In last week’s Gospel, we heard Jesus instruct us on how to offer fraternal correction with love – first privately, then with only those who are close, and then through the church.  Finally, if all else fails, treat the person as Jesus would a tax collector or an outsider (Gentile).  In other words, with love.  And that is hard, especially in light of the mandate from Ezekiel about our responsibility to help others to return to God and Jesus’ mandate on doing it with love.  And if it is hard to provide fraternal correction in a loving manner; how much more difficult is it when you are called to forgive someone who has injured you? 

When you think about it, there are 3 types, or levels, of forgiveness, and they are (in order of increasing difficulty).

First is the forgiveness of those you love, those closest to you, or those that you can relate to. 

There’s a story told by Archbishop Fulton Sheen about a married couple that gets into a large fight.  Finally the husband says to his wife, “I’m sorry dear, please forgive me.”  She replies, “I forgive you, let’s just forget about it.”  Sometime later they get into another argument and she brings up the first incident.  This happens several times and finally the man says, “Honey, I thought you said that you believed in forgive and forget.”  “Oh I do”, she replied, “I just don’t want YOU to forget that I forgave you.”

We see this this kind of forgiveness when something happens and our anger flares up – then we see that it was caused by someone we know and we automatically shrug it off.  We might even joke about it.  Laughter often releases the tension of the situation, and forgiveness becomes almost automatic.  It is easy to resent someone who cuts you off in traffic or who steals that parking spot in front of you; but when the little old lady gets out of the car and smiles at you, you can usually feel the anger melt away and forgiveness comes naturally.

But then there's the second level:  Forgiveness of your enemies or those you hate.  This is a much greater challenge. 

Last Friday we remembered the tragic events that occurred 19 years ago on September 11, 2001.  There are those who still carry the scars of that day, if not physically, emotionally.  When the harm done by another results in the loss of life or is of such a horrifying nature that it is impossible to forget - how do we forgive?  When the harm we have received is so painful, so irreparable, so - unforgiveable?  We can’t – not on our own.  Only God can.  We need Jesus to show us how and to help carry the burden, the pain with and for us.  And he does, when he forgives from the cross the very ones who tortured, humiliated and crucified him.

But the third level, the most difficult act of forgiveness, may be the one in which you have to forgive yourself.  So many of the problems that we face in life are a result of our own weaknesses and failures and we allow them to drag us down, destroy our own sense of self-respect. The shame of our past life, the overwhelming burden of our current addictions, often bring with them an insurmountable sense of depression and despair. It is hard to respect others if you cannot respect yourself.

So how do we forgive the unforgiveable?

We tend to forget that while we are called to forgive the injury inflicted upon us, whether it be from someone we love, someone we hate, or ourselves, it is only God who can forgive the sin. The Catechism of the Catholic Church clearly states that in paragraph 1441.  But how can that be? Don’t we go to reconciliation in order to receive forgiveness?  We tend to forget that, in confession, it isn’t the priest who forgives; it is God acting through the priest that forgives.  Because while only God can forgive sins, we see throughout the Gospels that Jesus exercised this divine power and he shared that authority with and through his apostles: those he chose to shepherd his Church. It has been passed down through the centuries by apostolic succession to our priests even to this day.  We need someone to acknowledge our repentance; God knows that and gave us the priesthood.

And why do we forgive?  We see part of the answer in today’s Gospel. The servant was granted mercy but in refusing to accept it, to recognize the obligation that went with it, he sent himself to prison by his own choice.  We too imprison ourselves when we cannot or do not forgive.  And we need to forgive in order to experience mercy.

Mercy is not forgiveness.  Mercy goes a step further.  When an injury occurs, whether physical, emotional or spiritual, we look to earthly justice to “right the wrong”, to make reparation.  But when we forgive, we experience spiritual mercy and grant ourselves the freedom to let go of the hurt that we carry.  Mercy then results when one has the power to mitigate the consequences, or the “just punishment” as we sometimes say in our Act of Contrition after Reconciliation.  God grants us mercy; we must do so for others.  And God’s mercy leads us to forgive others.

Think about how many times during Mass that we ask for mercy:

•    During the opening penitential right: the priest absolves us when he prays, “May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins and bring us to everlasting life.”
•    We beg for mercy through the Kyrie: “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.”
•    During the Gloria we beg: “Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us; you take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer; you are seated at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us.”
•    In the various Eucharistic prayers, we acknowledge our sinfulness and express hope in God’s abundant mercy
•    In the doxology after the Lord’s Prayer the priest says: “by the help of your mercy”
•    In the Agnus Dei we again ask: “Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.”

We want to be freed of our sins.  We NEED to be freed from our sins.  In the Gospel of John (8:32), Jesus said: “…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  And later, Jesus tells Thomas “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.“ (John 14:6)  And all through both the Old and New Testaments we hear that God is a God of Mercy.  So if God is Truth, then the truth is: God is Mercy.

And if truth will set you free; how much more so will mercy?  That is our lesson for today.  “Be Merciful, just as your heavenly Father is Merciful.”  For if you show mercy and forgive others, then God will show you mercy and forgive you too.  And God’s forgiveness will set you free.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Perfection in the Eyes of God

Perfection in the Eyes of God
Feb. 23, 2020     7th Sunday in Ordinary Time – A
by Dcn. Bob Bonomi

What does it mean, to be perfect?

In today’s Gospel taken from near the end of his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells the people to “be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect.”  What does that mean? Isn't it impossible to be perfect?

When you think about it, it seems that as a society we are obsessed with perfection, aren’t we?  Just look at the self- improvement infomercials on TV.  Learn a new language.  Get rich selling real estate.  You can become a younger, more beautiful version of you by following these fitness tips.

Or how about those commercials which try to convince you that you’re missing out on perfection that only their products can provide?  Are you seeking adventure and want to be one with nature?  Buy our new SUV.  Want to fit in?  Try our stylish clothes.  There are even those weird commercials for perfume that you need because you must smell bad and you  won't ever get a date if you don’t use it. 

And if you're getting older or aren’t feeling perfect?  Take this new drug and you'll feel years younger or prettier or healthier or more virile.  Warning - the side effects may kill you.  But that’s OK because you’ll be a better- a more perfect - you.

But I think the most damaging influences we face are often those people, even our friends, who try to convince us that we can’t possibly be happy as God made us because we’re not perfect.  And after all, we want to be happy, don’t we?

So, what is perfect?

I asked some friends what perfect meant to them and one replied that perfection is something that fits us well. It’s different for different people, and it’s a temporary or passing state of mind.

But … I don’t think that is true.

Perfection is a goal that we seek because, as St. Augustine says, we have a hole in our hearts that needs to be filled, and it cannot be filled until it is filled by God.  It’s as if we’re a jigsaw puzzle that’s missing some pieces.  Those missing pieces are shaped like God, and when we don’t look for Him to fill those holes, we’ll look for something that we think looks like that hole and try to force it to fit.  It won’t, of course, and the picture that results will always be a little – off.

Yet still we allow others to tell us that it is OK to reject the person God made us to be and to make ourselves into someone that they(or we) think is perfect .  Why do we allow others to sell us a bill of goods like that?  It seems like we don’t even know who God made us to be anymore; that we need someone to tell us what we should already know.

First and foremost, we are children of God.

And as a child of God, we are given instructions, self-help advice if you will, on how to find the happiness we seek and to become what God wants us to be.  Perfect in His eyes.  And God does not see as man sees.

Think about this.  We love the imperfect artistic efforts of our children and delight in them as "perfect", whether they’re stick figures of ourselves with long curved fingers and weird-looking eyes or scribbled multi-colored landscapes of confusion.  Children may not be pro-athletes but we’re proud whenever they make the effort to compete, and if their efforts fall short of perfection, we console them and praise the effort which they’ve made while encouraging them to try harder. They may not be perfect by worldly standards, but they are (or should be) perfect in our eyes.

And God sees us as His children, no matter how old we get, and He responds the same way.  Despite our grown-up mentality, we’re still children in His sight and as long as we’re striving to please Him, then as Thomas Merton said, our efforts indeed do please him.  God will keep us on the path to perfection.

Yet, instead of accepting that God loves us for who we are, we think that our imperfections can somehow be “fixed” and we go to extreme efforts to "fix" ourselves.  We are convinced by others that we can be whoever WE want to be and we try to change ourselves into something we are not, and we do it for the worst of reasons – opinions or pressure by others. We try to please others, instead of God.

So how do we become “perfect” in God’s eyes?

Well, we’ve all heard the story about the rich man who comes to Jesus and asks him what he needs to do to get to heaven.  After Jesus tells him to keep the commandments and such and the man says that he does all that, then Jesus says to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”  The young man leaves because he is owned by the many possessions he has.  Yet, despite that, the Gospel says that Jesus still loves him.

And Luke’s version of today’s Gospel gives us a little different twist.  It has the “love your enemies and do good to them" stuff, and to "lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked" like Matthew.  But in Luke, Jesus says, "Be merciful, just as [also] your Father is merciful.

So in God’s eyes, it appears that Mercy can be thought of as perfection.  And we add still another dimension from today’s 1st Reading from Leviticus:  “Be holy, for I, the LORD, your God, am holy.

Be Perfect. Be Merciful. Be Holy.  Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, which we have been listening to for the last few Sundays, gives us the directions to follow in order to be all three.

They are tough directions.  Love your enemies. Offer no resistance to one who is evil.  If someone hits you, let him do so again.  (I have a real problem with that one). 

But if we want to be perfect – to be HOLY, then that’s the advice we should be listening to, not what we’re told by the media or by those who do not know God.  Not trying to change what God made us to be, but to embrace it with the desire that a child has to please a parent.

And beginning this week we have a great opportunity to work on our perfection.  Lent begin this week with Ash Wednesday – the one day of the year that more non-Catholics and former Catholics come to Mass than any other time of the year.  We can make Lent our time to seek perfection, to seek holiness, through action:  Attend your parish mission nights. Participate in a day of reflection. Go on a retreat.  Jump-start your spiritual growth.

So, what does it take to be perfect?  St. Paul tells us, “You are the temple of God, You are Holy.”  If we are followers of Christ, then we are Holy.  If we are Holy, we must be Merciful.

And if we are Holy and Merciful, then in God’s eyes, we are Perfect.