I Want to See

I Want to See

by Deacon Bob Bonomi

October 24, 2021   30th Sunday of OT - B

In life, we often use “seeing” as a metaphor for understanding, and in that sense there is some point in our lives we have all encountered something that needed to be explained to us.  Sometimes it is just something we are curious about.  Other times it is something we think we should know, maybe even something we really think we need to know.

So we turn to our parents, our friends, our teachers, or others that we consider knowledgeable, or “experts”, especially in the fields of science, technology, medicine or finance.  And when we’ve exhausted all of our human resources for help, we turn to the oracle of all wisdom – the Internet.

And if something is explained to us and we do understand it, we might respond with the old adage which was derived from the gospels, “’Ah’, said the blind man.  ‘Now I see!’”

But what happens when something is thoroughly explained to us and we still cannot “see” the answer?  What do we do?  Should we just accept what is told to us, trusting in the source of the information?  Or can we just ignore it?  Maybe.

What if it is something that weighs heavily on our hearts, a problem that is beyond all earthly understanding, such as in the case of “why do bad things happen to good people?”

Maybe we or someone we love has suffered from a major illness. Or maybe involved in a tragic accident or other catastrophic event.  Maybe we’re trying to recover from some sort of terrible emotional trauma.

When that happens, we really want to know “why”.  We want to “see” or understand.  At some point in our lives, I believe that those of us of faith have all called out to Jesus to make clear something that we didn’t understand.  I say those of us of faith, for those who do not have faith have no higher authority to turn to other than the limited knowledge of man, and they must depend only on earthly solutions to their problems.  And when that fails them, they can lapse into depression – or even despair.

And in those cases that are beyond human understanding, there is only one place left to turn – God.

As a blind man, Bartimaeus could only “see” through the eyes of others, and he was totally dependent upon what was shared with him through his begging. In Mark’s gospel, we don’t know how long Bartimaeus had been blind, or what caused his blindness.  Maybe it was the result of an accident.  Maybe, he had been blind since birth.  

Think about how Jesus responds to his disciples in the story of the man born blind in John’s Gospel (Jn 9:2-3).  Jesus is walking with his disciples when they pass a man blind from birth and they ask him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus tells them, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”

In Jewish beliefs of the time, afflictions like blindness were seen as a punishment for sin – either the person’s own sin or possibly the sins of his parents. Maybe Bartimaeus even thought that he deserved to be blind.  But like the good thief on the cross, his sinfulness did not stop him from asking for mercy.  Neither should we.

When something happens in our life that we don’t understand, it always – ALWAYS – has the potential to showcase the works of God.  

And so it is with Bartimaeus.  In today’s Gospel, Bartimaeus recognizes that Jesus has the power to heal and so he calls to him for mercy.  Those around him, maybe thinking he was getting what he deserved as a sinner, tried to quiet him. Yet he calls all the louder, “have pity on me.”  When Jesus asks him "What do you want me to do for you?", he simply says, "Master, I want to see."

Notice that Bartimaeus doesn’t ask to be cured of his blindness directly.  He asks to “see”, and while we might assume that that means being cured, it has an even deeper meaning when we realize that “seeing” also means “understanding.”

Jesus sees – he understands – that Bartimaeus has faith, and grants him his request.  He tells Bartimaeus to “Go your way; your faith has saved you." What does Bartimaeus do?  Did he go back to where he was?  

No.  Immediately he followed Jesus.

We must also be careful what we pray for.  If, like Bartimaeus, we ask to see, we must be ready to embrace the responsibility for what we see.

In Bartimaeus’ case, think about what that must have meant for him.  In his blindness, Bartimaeus probably had little responsibility beyond trying to meet his basic needs through begging. There would be little he could do for others, if for no other reason than he couldn’t “see” their needs.  

But once his eyesight was restored, he would most likely not be able to use begging as an effective way to make a living any more.  Despite the wretchedness of being blind, there was also a certain comfort level in the routine of his life, which was changed forever.  He might be able to now “see” physically, but now he also needed to “see” with the eyes of faith. And just like he had faith that Jesus could heal his blindness, he had faith enough to know that the way he needed to go was to follow Jesus.

What a challenge for us!  When we turn to God in order to understand – to see – what is happening around us or to us, we are also asking in faith to “see” the world through God’s eyes.

But in order for that to happen, we must first be willing to “see” the challenge – the cross – of whatever that we have asked God to help us understand, and then at least for an understanding of how it can serve God.  And that isn’t easy.

BUT!  If we call out like Bartimaeus, “Lord, I want to see" and our eyes are opened, then we then have the responsibility of seeing through the eyes of Jesus. We cannot remain blind to the suffering of others. We must allow our healing to lead to God’s Glory.  We must be willing to follow Jesus.

Like the words of the song, “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.  I want to see You”, we are asking to look deeper into the will of God.  And once our eyes are opened, then we must help others who are “blind” to see Jesus, too.