When God Says "No."
Homily for July 8, 2018 14th Sunday in Ordinary Time - B
by Dcn. Bob Bonomi
Last Sunday’s Gospel recounted a couple of extraordinary healings, and Fr. Szatkowski asked us the question: how strong is your faith? In fact, in almost all of the healings recorded in the Gospels, Jesus states that it is because of the faith of the person or those with them that not only were they healed, but that they were saved. The power of God is revealed through our faith.
But, how’s your faith when things don't go as desired or prayed for?
Today’s reading from St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians is one of my favorite passages of the New Testament, for I too have my personal demons and trials that I continue to struggle against.. By now in his ministry, Paul has been around for quite a while and he has witnessed many, many wondrous signs that God has worked through him, and yet he is still suffering from something serious enough that he has asked God three times to take it away. Not just asked; he begged for it to leave him. He even equates his problems as coming straight from Satan himself.
And God said, “No.”
It reminds me of the story in the Bible about King David. After he was been told by the prophet Nathan that his first son by Bathsheba was going to die, David pleaded with God to spare the child. He fasted and slept in sack cloth for seven days, but still the child died. His servants were afraid to tell him, but after hearing the news David cleaned up and went to worship God. When his servants asked him about the change, he replied, “While the child was living, I fasted and wept, thinking, ‘Who knows? The LORD may grant me the child’s life.’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” Even when faced with the death of his son, David had faith that the boy was with God and that he would see the boy again.
Isn’t that the real challenge to our faith? Remaining faithful even when things don’t go as we hope, despite our storming the heavens with our prayers? Especially when we’ve bathed the earth with our tears, when our hearts are shredded with grief, and it seems that God either doesn’t hear us or, worse, tells us “No”? It’s enough to rock anyone’s faith, especially when we see in Jesus’ own words to “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Mt 7: 7). How are we to respond when Jesus says “all that you ask for in prayer; believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours” (Mark 11:24) and then it doesn’t happen?
Today I want to talk about three important points for keeping the faith when God says, “No”: Purpose, Prayer and Play. To do that, let me introduce you to three of my favorite writers whose lives have given me insight into these points: Dr. Viktor Frankl, Jennifer Hubbard and Mattie Stepanek.
First, Viktor Frankl. Born in 1905, Frankl was a noted Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist before being imprisoned by the Germans and sent to the concentration camps during World War II. He survived four separate camps before he was freed at the end of the war, but endured almost every atrocity imaginable in the camps short of execution. He lost his wife and daughter to the Holocaust along with most of his extended family except for one sister. But he did survive, and his book, “Man's Search for Meaning” originally published in 1946 in German as: “Nevertheless, Say "Yes" to Life: A Psychologist Experiences the Concentration Camp” chronicles his experiences as a concentration camp inmate, which led him to discover the importance of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most brutal ones, and thus, a reason to continue living. He developed a form of therapy called “Logotherapy”, often referred to as the "Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy". It can be used to restore meaning to one’s life after suffering a tragic event.
His book is still popular (I just finished reading it – it only took about 3 days and I could hardly put it down.) In his review of the book, Benjamin McEvoy stated that he learned 7 key lessons on life. My understanding of them are:
1. He who has a “why” to live for - a reason - can bear almost any “how” that happens.
2. The salvation of man is through love and in love, and God is Love.
3. You can get used to anything - I've seen what people endure in 3rd world countries..
4. You can resist your environment’s influence. Your environment doesn't define YOU.
5. There is meaning in suffering - Catholics call it "redemptive suffering".
6. Without hope, meaning, and a future, death will come soon. One needs a purpose.
7. Logotherapy - the construction of a future for oneself – can be used to restore one’s sense of purpose in life.
It is all about choice – you cannot choose the conditions you are presented with, but you can choose on how you respond to them. That is one of God’s greatest gifts and a measure of our humanity – the freedom to choose to live life oriented toward a higher goal despite the evil which surrounds us. Man is the only creature so gifted by God that is able to do so.
The second person I would refer you to is Jennifer Hubbard. I frequently mention her when I talk with groups about faith because I find her so inspiring in the face of what she has gone through. The younger of her two children, Catherine Violet, was 6 years old when she was murdered during the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December, 2012.
Hubbard is a frequent contributor to “Magnificat”, a pocket-sized missalette with daily readings, reflections, and other spiritual writings that is published monthly. There is usually an article from her each month and I find her brief spiritual writings inspirational and thought-provoking. She once said to the Catholic News Agency during an interview in 2016 on the power of prayer that, “We’re all going to face trials; we’re all going to face tragedies. My tragedy was my daughter being murdered. Someone else’s tragedy could be the doctor who says the cancer is no longer treatable.” … “When you are intimate with that darkness, prayer turns your attention to God in allowing this peace to settle on your soul, despite whatever chaos is circling around you.” Her faith remains steadfast to this day.
But the most inspiring person for me is a young boy named Mattie J. Stepanek. Mattie died in 2004 at the age of 13, shortly before his 14th birthday, of dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy, a form of muscular dystrophy. His three older siblings died from the same genetic disease. He began writing poetry at the age of four and published seven best-selling books of poetry and peace essays, most popular being his “Heartsong” series. Before his death he had become known as a peace advocate and motivational speaker and was friends with the likes of former president Jimmy Carter and Oprah Winfrey.
Despite having seen what his older brother suffered before he died and having to experience the progressive deterioration of his own health at such a young age, Mattie was a playful, joyous young man with an impish smile and prone to pulling practical jokes. He fully believed that God spoke to him and that his mission in life was to be an ambassador of peace to the world. There are many, many thought-provoking quotes which come from his writings, but for me the most powerful one is the tagline that you see on many of my emails: “Play after every storm.” It was his motto for life: “Play after every storm! The storms do not last forever. The sun does come out, even if it is for a brief moment.”
Purpose, Prayer, Play.
There will be storms in every one of our lives. Sometimes the evil which will engulf us will be so disheartening that we will be sure that we will not survive; in fact, we will not want to survive. We will want to give up. We will look at the lives of the saints who have experienced tragedies which will match, if not surpass, those we face and we will say, “they were holier than I; they were stronger or tougher than I; it was different for them back then.” We will focus our attention on the past and the immediacy of our suffering and we will fail to hear God’s voice speaking to us to look forward. We will fail to seek the purpose of our suffering.
And yet, most of us are here today because we have survived the storms of the past, even the recent ones. As long as we live, we have the freedom to find purpose in our lives and to choose how to face our challenges. And with faith in God, we know our future.
When I was little (actually, most of my young life), my mom used to say that “everything happens for the best.” I still have trouble believing that, sometimes, because “the best” used to always mean “the best for ME”. But when I listen to God as He speaks through Viktor Frankl, Jennifer Hubbard, and Mattie Stepanek, I realize that “the best” is and must be His Will, and that my challenge is to discover that purpose through prayer and with the joy of loving others as He loves me.
And I DO have hope. I can see that, despite any suffering I have experienced over the years and the many "NO"s that I've received, when I look back with 20-20 hindsight and the grace of God, I can catch a glimpse of God in what has happened.
And that gives me the faith to continue to pray to God and, as Mattie would say, to “play after every storm.”
